Shopping Trip and Elevators

[dog_of_mishap]

Vext distrusted elevators. There were too many things that could go wrong. But it was the fastest way to get up to the seventh floor where the men's clothing was. He couldn't understand why there were so many floors dedicated to women's clothing but only one to men's.

Watching people go in and out of the elevator for a moment, he took a deep breath and stepped inside, pushing the button for floor number seven.

Comments

[onthecase.livejournal.com]

Before the door slides shut, a chimpanzee in a coat and wearing a deerstalker hat slides in.

"Floor six, please?" he asks.

[dog-of-mishap.livejournal.com]

Vext looks down.

And then down some more.

And then he sighs. No good is going to come of this. No good at all.

Nothing good ever comes from a chimpanzee getting into an elevator with him. The clothes and talking make things even worse.

He pushes the button for the sixth floor and tries to not look at the monkey.

[onthecase.livejournal.com]

The chimp apparently appreciates that there's not a deal made about him being there. He stands in front of the door to wait for them to open, and the elevator begins to move.

When they pass the fourth floor, the elevator jerks... and then comes to an abrupt halt.

"Aw, you've gotta be kidding me," the chimp mutters.

[dog-of-mishap.livejournal.com]

Vext's seen weirder, honestly.

"I knew this was a bad idea," Vext mutters. "Should have taken the stairs."

[onthecase.livejournal.com]

"I don't have fleas," the chimp retorts, assuming the reference is to riding in an elevator with a chimpanzee.

He presses the alarm button for help... then yelps as electricity jumps from the button to his finger.

He glares at the elevator button and mutters something darkly, then begins to push his hair back in place.

[dog-of-mishap.livejournal.com]

"What...?" the god looks confused having no idea where that came from. (Though he could have fleas by the time they're done!) "What are you talking about?"

[onthecase.livejournal.com]

"It shocked me!" the chimp mutters to Vext, ignoring the question altogether. "We can't call for help that way."

[dog-of-mishap.livejournal.com]

He sighs. "We'll be stuck here for hours. At least hours. If we're lucky."

Normally, he probably wouldn't be talking like this but... talking Chimp.

[onthecase.livejournal.com]

The Chimp moves to the doors.

"C'mon. I'll pry the doors open." He reaches for the doors and begins to pull.

[dog-of-mishap.livejournal.com]

After a second Vext decides to help. It couldn't hurt, could it?

The doors grind open and a tentacle lashes out and smacks Vext hard in the face. He yowls and stumbles backwards, hitting the back of the elevator, sliding down to the floor and banging his head on the rail while he does so.

Yeah. That hurt.

[onthecase.livejournal.com]

Unbeknownst to the Chimp, one of his teammates had just attempted to teleport to his location from their Cuban island. But the teleporter misfired, and instead teleported a deep-sea squid to their location.

An aggressive and angry deep-sea squid.

"GAH!" the Chimp swears, and attempts to push the doors shut. "I don't know what you're doing here, but go back!'

Tentacles begin to wrap around the railings inside the elevator, and the squid begins to pull itself in.

"No! Out! Out! I think the aquariums are on this floor!"

[dog-of-mishap.livejournal.com]

Vext is going to sit here and be dazed for this round.

[onthecase.livejournal.com]

The squid makes its way into the elevator, and wraps itself around the Chimp.

"...I'm sorry," he says. "You're scared, of course... of course the giant squid is scared." He looks over at Vext. "The squid is telling me it's scared."

It hugs the chimp, terrified, like a child to its doll. Only with far more tentacles.

[dog-of-mishap.livejournal.com]

Six seconds of dazed is over. "Of course it's scared," Vext repeats. "Who wouldn't be scared of suddenly finding themselves in an elevator shaft, giant squid or not."

He's not going to touch the squid. Bad things will happen.

"It'll be all right," he says trying to be soothing.

[onthecase.livejournal.com]

As he touches the squid, the elevator jostles... as if the cable is fraying.

And the squid, frightening, shoots ink.

"Aw crap," the chimp mutters.

[dog-of-mishap.livejournal.com]

The ink hits Vext full on the face. "Oh... for... " He tries to get the ink out of his eyes.

"Can we get out?" he asks hopefully. Hopefully, but doubting.

[onthecase.livejournal.com]

"The squid doesn't want us to leave it... it's scared," the chimp explains. "But... maybe? See if you can squeeze out..."

It's days like today that make me wish I still drank...

Outside the elevator, a fire alarm starts to ring as water begins to spray from the ceiling.

[dog-of-mishap.livejournal.com]

Vext does not drink. Who knows what would happen if he did.

"We could always take the squid... somehow?" Vext tries to squeeze around the squid and then slips.

The ink and water from the sprinklers have made the floor far to slippery for him to walk on.

He slides half-way out of the elevator and manages to grab onto the side before he could drop to a horrible horrible painful bottom. Scrambling his feet catch onto something. "There's a ladder here."

[onthecase.livejournal.com]

"Climb! I'll carry Inky out."

But as they begin to climb down, the elevator drops a foot, and swings precariously.

"We have to get out of this shaft before that thing falls..."

He reaches for the elevator door of the next floor and begins to pry the doors open...

...even as the elevator begins to creak...

[dog-of-mishap.livejournal.com]

It can't actually be said that Vext climbs through the doors so much as splats. As he steps through, he trips on his shoelace and falls flat on his face.

Looking up he sees a macaw staring down at him.

"Hello?" the bird asks in its screechy voice.

[onthecase.livejournal.com]

The chimp has less time. As the chimp hears the elevator's cord snap, he's already in motion, swinging (with a large squid wrapped frantically around his head and body) in through the open doors just as the elevator drops down, narrowly missing the primate and mollusk.

His hands, however, are wet with ink and water, and what should be a graceful leap turns into a spinning, flailing, tentacled mess through the air, past several animal cages, and directly into one labeled, "Quarantine - fleas."

There's a crunch of chimpanzee on wire mesh.

[dog-of-mishap.livejournal.com]

"Oh dear," Vext says as he gets to his feet. Hobbling, he hurt his knee in the fall, he goes over to the chimp and squid. "Are you all right?"

He means both of them, of course.

"All right?" the macaw repeats, wings stretching in its cage.

[onthecase.livejournal.com]

He looks up at Vext, a dark expression on his simian face, a squid clinging tightly to his body and peering from the top of his head.

"I. Have. Fleas. Now."

He gets to his feet.

"I'm never riding an elevator again."

"Again!" the macaw squawks, flapping its wings, then returning to its perching posture.